Saturday, September 17, 2011

International Talk Like A Pirate Day

Ahoy! Ye mateys! Belay your bilge an' be payin' mind to what I be sayin'!

September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Though since it has actually been observed on the International Space Station, I suppose it could be called Interstellar Talk Like A Pirate Day! UPDATE: Apparently even the Voyager 2 is talking like a pirate today!

Talk Like A Pirate day began in 1995 when two friends, Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket, started trading pirate insults while playing racquetball. They decided that since they were having so much fun talking like pirates, everyone else should be encouraged to do so as well, and International Talk Like A Pirate Day began. They chose September 19 because Cap'n Slappy had recently divorced and it was his ex-wife's birthday. He figured, “the date was stuck in my head, and I wasn't going to do anything with it anymore.” (link)

In 2002, humorist Dave Barry published an article about the unusual event and Talk Like A Pirate Day exploded in popularity. It has since been celebrated everywhere from the White House to the aforementioned Space Station.

Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket have done several YouTube videos teaching various aspects of piratical behavior.


If you want your own pirate name, you can answer a few questions on the What's My Pirate Name quiz and have one assigned to you.

And if you want to add a little swash buckling to your sex life, you can consider the following Pirate themed merchandise from EdenFantasys.com:

You can begin with the epic Pirates XXX movie, sure to make his Roger jolly! Available in both DVD and blu-Ray. And, of course there is the sequel, Pirates: Stagnetti's Revenge, sure to make you go, “Arrrrgh!” Also available on both DVD and blu-Ray.

Pirates XXX DVDPirates XXX blu-rayPirates: Stagnetti's Revenge XXX dvdPirates: Stagnetti's Revenge blu-ray

You could dress up like a Pirate Wench and shiver his (or her) timbers.

Sexy brocade and lace pirate wench costume with zipper closure, hat and swordSexy brocade and lace pirate wench costume with zipper closure, hat and sword


You can hoist your yardarm in the bathtub with this vibrating pirate rubber duckie.

Waterproof TPR pirate duck vibrating massager.Waterproof TPR pirate duck vibrating massager.Waterproof TPR pirate duck vibrating massager.


And this lovely pirate themed vibrator comes in its own treasure chest.

Mini-rocket vibe with skull motif design, powerful 3-speeds that comes with satin lined treasure chest storage box with gem designed handle and accents on box.Mini-rocket vibe with skull motif design, powerful 3-speeds that comes with satin lined treasure chest storage box with gem designed handle and accents on box.Mini-rocket vibe with skull motif design, powerful 3-speeds that comes with satin lined treasure chest storage box with gem designed handle and accents on box.


And this discreet pirate themed vibrating pendant can make you scream YO HO!

Discreet bullet on the chain has a look of costume jewelry and can be used for clitoral or vaginal stimulation.

Of course, Talk Like a Pirate Day is all about having fun. So...

Avast! Me hearties! Yo ho!

Pirate Limerick

There once was a pirate named Bates,
Who danced the Fandango on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates!

Top Ten Pick Up Lines for International Talk Like A Pirate Day (for the scurvy dogs)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
...and the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare to be boarded.


Top Ten Pick Up Lines for International Talk Like A Pirate Day (for the wenches)

10. What are YOU doing here?
9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)
8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"
6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"
4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!
3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!
2. RAMMING SPEED!
...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:
1. You. Pants Off. Now!

If you have better pick up lines or pick up lines for those with alternative lifestyles, PLEASE comment below.

How to Talk Like A Pirate
  • Double up on all your adjectives and you'll be bountifully bombastic with your phrasing. Pirates never speak of "a big ship", they call it a "great, grand ship!" They never say never, they say "No nay ne'er!"
  • Drop all your "g"'s when you speak and you'll get words like "rowin'", "sailin'" and "fightin'". Dropping all of your "v"'s will get you words like "ne'er", "e'er" and "o'er".
  • Instead of saying "I am", sailors say, "I be". Instead of saying "You are", sailors say, "You be". Instead of saying, "They are", sailors say, "They be". Ne'er speak in anythin' but the present tense!
  • If it be helpin', start yer sentence wi' a "Arr, me hearty," in a deep, throaty voice — ye'll find that the rest be comin' much easier.
A Brief Pirate Vocabulary
In which ye'll find words submitted by many pirates o'er the years, an' which comprise a loose piratical dictionary.

Ahoy: Hey!
Avast: Stop and pay attention!
Aye: Yes
Black spot: to be 'placin' the black spot' be markin' someone for death.
Booty: treasure
Buccaneer: a pirate who be answerin' to no man or blasted government.
By the Powers!: an exclamation, uttered by Long John Silver in Treasure Island!
Cat o' nine tails: whip for floggin' mutineers
Corsair: a pirate who be makin' his berth in the Med-...Medi-...that sea 'tween Spain and Africa, aye!
Davy Jones' Locker: the bottom o' the sea, where the souls of dead men lie
Doubloons: pieces of gold...
Fiddlers Green: the private heaven where pirates be goin' when they die.
Furner: a ship which be yer own, not one ye steal an' plunder.
Gentlemen o' fortune: a slightly more positive term fer pirates!
Go on the account: to embark on a piratical cruise
Grog: A pirate's favorite drink.
Jack: a flag or a sailor
Jolly Roger: the skull and crossbones, the pirate flag!
Keelhaul: a truly vicious punishment where a scurvy dog be tied to a rope and dragged along the barnacle-encrusted bottom of a ship. They not be survivin' this.
Landlubber: "Land-lover," someone not used to life onboard a ship.
Lass: A woman.
Lily-livered: faint o' heart
Loaded to the Gunwales (pron. gunnels): drunk
Matey: A shipmate or a friend.
Me hearty: a friend or shipmate.
Me: My.
Pieces o' eight: pieces o' silver which can be cut into eights to be givin' small change.
Privateer: a pirate officially sanctioned by a national power
Scallywag: A bad person. A scoundrel.
Scurvy dog!: a fine insult!
Shiver me timbers!: an exclamation of surprise, to be shouted most loud.
Son of a Biscuit Eater: a derogatory term indicating a bastard son of a sailor
Sprogs: raw, untrained recruits
Squadron: a group of ten or less warships
Squiffy: a buffoon
Swaggy: a scurvy cur's ship what ye be intendin' to loot!
Swashbucklin': fightin' and carousin' on the high seas!
Sweet trade: the career of piracy
Thar: The opposite of "here."
Walk the plank: this one be bloody obvious.
Wench: a lady, although ye gents not be wantin' to use this around a lady who be stronger than ye.
Wi' a wannion: wi' a curse, or wi' a vengeance. Boldly, loudly!
Yo-ho-ho: Pirate laughter

Talk Like A Pirate Day Links:

Official Talk Like A Pirate Day website

FaceBook page for TLAPD
The Column That Started It All by Dave Barry
Pirate Name Generator
More Pirate Vocabulary
Pirate Translator
Talk Like A Pirate Day Song lyrics
Talk Like A Pirate books
Pirate themed sex toys
Pirate jokes
Learn to speak Pirate: A free course from Mango Languages

1 comment:

  1. oh my gosh it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day? I really should get all my pirate themed reviews done tonight. ;0; I have so much pirate stuff. I even bought a pirate wench costume to do my reviews in.

    ReplyDelete