Rhyming Couplets

Sometimes I really enjoy the silly little games over on Eden Forums. So I decided to create a game myself. I came up with the idea of a rhyming couplets game. And just to get things started, I figured I should give some examples of rhyming couplets. This is what I came up with:

When I first saw this store
I found I wanted more

My husband now suspects
He'll soon be having sex

Of more variety
than tab A in slot B

I know that it's just a silly little thing, but I have to admit I am rather proud of it.

Of Rape And Reality

When I was a freshman in college, I got drunk, deliberately drunk. Just to see what all the fuss was about. And while I was still drunk, I ended up walking across campus and encountering a group of young men who attacked and raped me.

I don't remember much of that night. I have vague memories of being pushed around from guy to guy; then being thrown to the ground and hitting my head on concrete. I have another memory of trying to escape down a flight of stairs and feeling someone grab me from behind and pull me back up. And that's it. That's all I remember.

I know the rape happened. The physical evidence was obvious. My body was covered in bruises; my arms, my legs... my inner thighs. But I don't remember the actual rape. Nothing. Just those few images in my head; of events that must have occurred either before or after the rape. Nothing of the rape itself.

I know the rape happened. I went from being a virginal goody-two-shoes, to being carelessly promiscuous. I went from being somewhat shy and standoffish, to actively seeking out sexual partners. I went from flinching away from touch, to using my hands and my body to seduce men into fucking me. Using men one after another to try and prove something to myself. But I never remembered what that first sexual experience felt like.

I know the rape happened. But I don't really know. How can I know what really happened if I can't remember it? What happens when you know that something is real, even as your brain refuses to acknowledge its existence? What happens when you can't resolve the conflicts within your own thoughts and behaviors. What happens when your own mind denies what it believes?

You begin to doubt your memory. You begin to doubt yourself. You begin to doubt reality.

I know/don't know the rape happened. How can I know if I was really raped? How can I know if I really am the person that I believe I am? How can I know what is real?

When I no longer know what reality is.

Two Cocks, Three Asses And A Dozen Pussies

I live in the country and have a lot of various critters on my micro-ranch. I have horses, donkeys, goats, chickens and cats (of both the indoor and barn variety). A friend of my used to joke that I was the only woman he knew with two cocks, three asses and a dozen pussies.

I don't actually have a dozen pussies... I only have 11 :)

And honestly, I don't have the cocks anymore. They were just too noisy and aggressive, like most cocks are. So I got rid of them. However, I still have three asses and (almost) a dozen pussies.

Double Penetration With Two Men

Before attempting double penetration with two men, you must first be sure that you enjoy anal sex. If you don't enjoy anal sex, double penetration(DP) simply is not going to be enjoyable for you. I have heard some people refer to having two penises in one vagina as DP, but that is not what I am talking about here. Assuming you mean one penis in your vagina and one in your anus, then IF you can find the right guys to have sex with (and that's a BIG IF), it can be an amazing experience.

I have done double penetration with one guy vaginal and one guy anal several times. The sex was great because I knew both men very well and we all took it slow and were very careful. At least at first. Once we got all the preliminaries settled and I was sure I was comfortable, we got more vigorous. I absolutely loved the feeling of being held between two male bodies. And the orgasms I had were mind-blowingly intense. It's something I still dream about today.

However, it is somewhat tricky to do DP safely. You have to have two men that you really like and trust, and they have to both be willing to be very careful and to step back if things get too intense. The men also have to be comfortable with each other and willing to work together.

Depending on your relationships with the men, the emotional issues can get complicated. So really think hard about how things will work and TALK to both partners to make sure everything and everyone will work well together. If you don't feel comfortable TALKING to the men about having sex, then you really shouldn't be having sex with them.

As far as HOW to do double penetration. The hardest part is getting started. I would always start by having one guy lay on his back and I would mount him cowgirl style, then lay down on his chest with his penis inside my vagina. Then the other guy would very carefully enter my anus doggy/froggy style. I wouldn't move much at first while the guy doing me anally very slowly and gently moved back and forth to help relax my sphincter. Once I was relaxed and feeling good, then the sex would really get going.

I'll leave the rest to your imagination... Basically once you've gotten started you can do whatever feels good to everyone involved.

You Never Forget Your First... Sex Toy!

A review of  the Beaver vibrator

This review was originally published in slightly different form on Eden Fantasys website.

When I discovered that Eden Fantasys carried The Beaver, I just had to write a review for it. The Beaver was my very first sex toy. I remember how nervous I was when I finally decided to visit the local sex toy shop. Fortunately, the clerk was kind, knowledgeable and helped me to pick out exactly the right toy for the beginner that I was. She suggested that I would probably want to use lubricant and introduced me to Astroglide (another oldie, but goodie). She also told me how to clean and maintain my toy; all of the things that Eden Fantasys does online with their descriptions and reviews. Just one of many reasons that Eden Fantasys is such a great place to buy toys.

The beaver isn't nearly as flashy or pretty as some of the other toys out there, but a sex toy is a lot like a boyfriend; you don't necessarily want to date the flashiest or the best looking, you want to date the one that makes you feel good! You want to date the one who gives you what you need and who is just plain fun to be with. You also want one who will be around for the long term.

Some toys may be really attractive looking, and they may be interesting at first, but once the novelty wears off, you don't have much use for them. Like a good boyfriend, the Beaver has been consistently giving me what I need for many, many years. The fact that the Beaver is still around after all these years suggests that I'm not the only one who likes it.

I eventually wore my first Beaver out after about five or six years. At that point, I bought a fancier looking toy, thinking that it would be even more fun than the Beaver, but I was sadly mistaken. The Beaver had been able to bring me to orgasm EVERY time, the flashier toy never got me there even once. So I bought another Beaver. This second Beaver is still going strong almost fifteen years later. That's longevity!


  

 


The Beaver is a rabbit type vibe with a shaft that is designed to be inserted vaginally and an attachment that is meant to stimulate the clitoris externally. The shaft of the Beaver is designed to look sort of like an American Indian. This design adds just enough texture to help you feel the shaft as you slide it in and as it moves inside you.

The shaft is 7 1/4” long with 4” insertable. It is 1 1/4” in diameter with a circumference of approximately 4”, it can vary a little bit because of the design.

The clitoral stimulator is shaped like a beaver sticking its tongue out, with a little bitty baby beaver on its back. I'm really not sure what the baby beaver is there for. The big beaver's tongue works perfectly to stimulate my clitoris.

The entire toy is made out of rubber. It is generally believed that oil based lubricants can damage rubber, so it would be best to use a water-based lube. Water-based lubes are safe to use with any toy. However, you can also use silicone lube with rubber toys.

Rubber may contain phthalates which some people are sensitive to. So if you react negatively to phthalates, you might not want to risk using the beaver.

The beaver is controlled by a wired remote that uses 3 C batteries. The remote control is made out of hard plastic and has two sliding controllers. One slider controls how fast the shaft rotates, while the other slider controls the intensity of the clitoral vibrator. Because the Beaver uses three large batteries, both the rotation and the vibrations can get pretty intense.

As far as noise levels go, I don't have much to compare it to, but I believe it to be moderately loud. If someone was in the same room with you, they would definitely hear it. However, I do not believe the sound would travel through a closed door.

The Beaver is NOT waterproof and care should be taken when cleaning it to not let water or toy cleaner get into the hole where the cord goes into the toy. Since the Beaver is made out of rubber, it cannot be sterilized, not even with anti-bacterial toy cleaner, and it should probably not be shared with others. Even if you cover the shaft with a condom, I don't think there is any useful way to cover the clitoral vibrator.

Some people have suggested that you should always cover rubber toys with a condom to protect the surface from damage and/or bacterial growth. I have to admit that I have never used a condom over my Beaver and it shows no damage after almost 15 years of use. Of course, I always used a water-based lube and took great care to clean the toy thoroughly with warm water and mild soap after each use.

You will probably also want to clean the remote control. I usually manage to get at least some lube on it from my hands. However, I do not recommend getting it too wet. The openings for the slide controls could let water get into the mechanism and damage the toy. Also the battery cover slides off fairly easily and you definitely don't want any water getting in there. I usually just wipe it down with a damp washcloth.

I still store my Beaver in the plain black box it came in, but I don't know what the current packaging is like.

When I use the Beaver, I usually start off with just the clitoral vibrator turned on. I start with low vibrations and ease my way up to the higher setting. Usually by the time I reach the highest setting, I have already had my first orgasm. I can sometimes bring myself to two or three orgasms before turning on the rotation. (BTW, because using the Beaver tends to make me gush, I always put a towel underneath me before I get started.) Once I've had as much satisfaction as I want from just clitoral stimulation, I turn on the rotation.

I only ever slide the controller for the rotation about halfway up, because at full speed the movement is just too fast. With the rotation turned on, suddenly, there is a whole new sensation going on down there. I can really feel the shaft moving inside me, and although I have never been able to climax just using the rotation, when combined with the clitoral stimulation, it always brings me at least one more orgasm and usually helps me to have several more.

Others on Eden Fantasys may not have rated the Beaver very highly, but I have to give the Beaver 5 Stars. It's always gotten me where I needed to go. And, no matter how many toys you get, your first will always be special. 

Beaver Rabbit vibrator by Vibratex Material: Rubber Safety: $66.99 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

Using an IUD for birth control

I got my first copper IUD many years ago, long before I met my husband. I got it because almost every other form of birth control had very negative side effects on me. The pill made me positively psychotic, and any other form of birth control that used hormones had the same effect. Even the NuvaRing which is supposed to use a very low dose of hormones made me so crazy that people said they were scared of me. I'm also latex sensitive, so most condoms are out of the question. I can use non-latex condoms, but they are ridiculously expensive, and I've had incredibly bad luck with them breaking. So... my gynecologist recommended the copper IUD. And boy am I glad she did.

It is a little uncomfortable having the IUD inserted. The doctor must first dilate (expand the opening of) your cervix using little metal rods of increasing diameter. My doctor told me to wait until my period started and then they would do the insertion. During your period, your cervix is generally at its most open and relaxed, making it easier for the doctor to open your cervix further. Having your cervix dilated is not truly painful, but it is very uncomfortable.

Once your cervix is dilated enough, the doctor places the IUD in your uterus and then cuts the strings that hang from the IUD so that they are just long enough to pass through your cervix and hang a little bit outside of it. Once the IUD is properly placed, your cervix will close back up on its own. However it may be a little sensitive for a few days. I would not recommend having sex during the days immediately following insertion.

The first couple of months after I had the IUD inserted, I did experience some fairly bad cramping and heavier than usual periods, but after a few months my periods went back to the way they had been before getting the IUD. Now I can't even tell that I have an IUD inside me.

The gynecologists will tell you that you need to check every month or so to make sure the IUD is still in place. Of course, you can't check on the IUD itself, but you can check to see if the strings for the IUD are still hanging out of the cervix. I usually check for the strings just after my period finishes. When I'm taking a shower, I just squat down and slip my fingers inside to feel the strings. So far, they've always been there. The strings were very slightly stiff at first, but they softened up pretty quickly.

I did have to have my first IUD removed when an earlier sexual partner actually pulled on the strings and pulled the IUD out of place. I'm not quite sure how he managed it since the strings are pretty short and somewhat slippery. But you know what they say about foolproof and fools. And he was quite the fool.

So make sure you tell your partner NOT to pull on the strings. None of my other partners even seemed to notice the strings, or if they did, they didn't say anything. I have heard that some men can feel the strings during PIV sex, and that they may find them uncomfortable or even painful. But I'm not sure how common that is. I wonder if some doctors leave the strings longer than others, or if some strings are simply stiffer than others and that's what causes the problem.

I've been with my husband for almost eight years now and he has never complained about feeling the strings during sex. When I asked him if he ever noticed them, he said that he has never felt the strings of my current IUD with his penis, but he can feel them with his fingers if he reaches far enough inside me.

I've never gotten pregnant since using the IUD. However, the IUD does not protect you from STD's, so you need to make sure your partner(s) is/are not contagious, and/or use a condom to protect yourself from STD's. The IUD is an ideal birth control choice for someone who is in a mutually healthy monogamous situation.

I've been using an IUD for over 12 years now. So even if the fool hadn't pulled on the strings I would have had to have the IUD replaced, since you need to remove and replace the copper IUD every 10 years. The IUD's with hormones need to be replaced every five years. But even if you replace your IUD every five years, that is still five years that you don't even have to think about birth control. I plan on continuing to use an IUD until I no longer need any form of birth control. It's just the easiest and most effective form of birth control for me.

There is some concern about women who have never had a child using an IUD because the body might try to expel it, but I don't know what the statistics are on that. Most doctors will probably give you an IUD even if you've never been pregnant, but you should talk to your gynecologist about the risks involved.

I would definitely recommend using an IUD to anyone who has trouble with hormonal birth control methods, or who simply wants an extremely effective birth control method that they don't have to think about.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask them in the comments section. I will do my best to answer them.

Sex and Religion

Let me first say that I have nothing against Christians or Christianity in general. It's fanaticism that's the problem, not religion. However...

I was raised by a fanatically Christian mother. She was very smart and very determined that I be a “good girl”. She used a whole arsenal of emotional manipulation to make sure that I turned out the way that she wanted me to. She thought that sex was disgusting, and I would not be surprised to find out that my parents never actually had sex. (My brother and I were both adopted.)

From the time that I was a very small child up until I left for college, any time my mother saw any kind of image that was remotely sexual, she would talk about how disgusting it was. Only bad people engaged in sex and she could not possibly love or feel affection towards anyone who was bad. Being a child and wanting my mother to love me, I tried very, very hard to be the perfect little girl that she wanted me to be.

Of course, it simply isn't humanly possible to be that perfect. And when I went “bad”, I really went bad. I figured I'd already lost her love, so what was the point of even trying to be good any more. I became wildly promiscuous. I slept with more men than I care to admit. I slept with a few women as well, which, in my mother's opinion, made me a completely perverse creature. I did not practice safe sex in any sense of the word. Frankly, I'm rather surprised that I survived all the risky behavior that I engaged in. But somehow I did, and I eventually settled down, fell in love and got married.

Now, I'm in sort of a confused position. When I was having sex out of wedlock, I was free to do whatever felt good and enjoy the hell out of it. In my mind, because I was having sex out of wedlock, I was being bad, and since I was already being bad, I might as well be really bad and actually enjoy sex to the fullest. I could be completely wild and free because I was already a bad person and it didn't make any difference. Now that I'm married, I find that I'm actually very self-conscious about having sex. I don't want to be wild in the bedroom, because good girls don't enjoy sex that way. In my mind, since I'm married, it's okay to have sex, but since it's okay, that means that I'm still a good girl, and since I'm a good girl, I should not enjoy sex. It frustrates the hell out of my husband. And I'm not too thrilled with myself either.

Of course there are a lot of other issues at play as well, since until fairly recently I had a cyst in my abdomen that made sex painful. But aside from the physical problems there are still a lot of psychological problems as well. My mother's been dead for almost 20 years now and I still can't get her fear and negativity out of my head completely. So even though I no longer consider myself a Christian or religious in any normal sense of the word (I do have a sort of vague spiritual belief system), I still have a problem with religion screwing up my sex life.  That remnant of my mother's fanatical Christianity that lingers in the back of my mind insists that I can't be a “good girl” and still have the wild and wonderful sex that I had when I was bad.

Welcome

This is going to be an experiment in re-awakening my sexuality by sharing memories of past adventures and stories of new experiences.  I have no idea how well this will work, but it certainly can't hurt.  So let me introduce myself.

I am currently a middle-aged married woman with some issues regarding sex.  Considering my history, it's not surprising that I have issues, but that doesn't mean that I have to continue to let them screw up my husband and I's sex life.  I don't want to go into details right now, but basically I was raised by a fanatical Christian mother who considered sex disgusting.  As a young child, I was mildly molested by an older cousin for a couple of months.  When I was a freshman in college, I lost my virginity by being violently raped by a group of young men.  In my late twenties, I was date raped by a friend of a friend.  In my thirties, I developed a cyst in my abdomen that made sex excruciatingly painful.  Even after I finally got the cyst removed, I still associated sex with pain.

So... I have a number of issues to work through.  However, I do have some fun stories about sexual adventures that I had in between all the bad things that happened to me. Hopefully expressing my feelings about the negative sexual experiences I had will prove cathartic, and re-living the good experiences will re-kindle my interest in sex.  And maybe reading about my experiences will help others in some way.