Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About The G-Spot* . . . (*But Were Afraid To Ask)

A review of "The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot" by Violet Blue.

The sex-ed book, “The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot”, was not only very informative, it was also hugely entertaining. The author, Violet Blue, has a writing style all her own. She manages to impart a good amount of solid information without once coming across as stodgy or clinical. I actually found myself laughing quite a bit as I was reading. I now understand why Violet Blue is such a successful person. After reading this book, I want to read more of her work. Fortunately, Violet Blue has written and edited over a dozen books on sex and sexuality, so I will have plenty to read.

Violet Blue is a best selling, award-winning writer, columnist, blogger and web celeb. She has been interviewed on, quoted by or featured prominently in such media outlets as The Oprah Winfrey Show, Forbes.com, Newsweek, NPR, CNN, The Wall Street Journal, SXSW: Interactive, and Google Tech Talks. In 2008, she was named as one of Wired's 25 Faces of Innovation, and in 2010, The London Times named Violet Blue as one of the “40 bloggers who really count”.

Violet Blue lists her profession as a “wetware hacker” and states that her sexual orientation is “binary”. Her NSFW blog, “Tiny Nibbles”, is subtitled “Open Source Sex”, which is also the name of her podcast series. She chose the name “Open Source Sex” for “the intersection of technology and sex, and the free-flowing information exchange of the open source software movement.” As someone who is married to a software engineer, I really appreciate the concept of open source sex. (BTW, I listened to and really enjoyed her podcast “Open Source Sex 86: How to Flirt with Geeks”)

In “The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot”, Blue explains all about the female g-spot in her uniquely informative style. The male g-spot (or p-spot) is mentioned, but this book is all about the FEMALE g-spot. She covers what the g-spot is, where it is, how to stimulate it, and other fun things to do with it. Here is a list of the chapters and their sub-headings. (I am preserving her own non-capitalization of chapter titles; it's not a typo.)

vii introduction: thoughts on becoming supreme master overlord of your g-spot

chapter 1: get smart
What's the Big Deal?, What the G-Spot Is, What the G-Spot Isn't, The Male G-Spot, Myths, Why it's a G

chapter 2: what's inside a girl
Anatomy, Spot Mapping, How to Get There from Here, What the G-Spot Looks Like

chapter 3: turn it on, turn it up
Your Arousal Cycle, How to Stimulate Your Spot, How it Feels, Sex Toys, Lube, “Good to be Wrong” by Alison Tyler

chapter 4: g-spots are for sharing
Talk about It, G-Spot Massage, G-Spot vs. Strap-On, Sex Positions for G-Spot Stimulation, “Found” by Alison Tyler

chapter 5: wet spots: ejaculation
What's Going On Here, How to Ejaculate, How to Stop, Ejaculation Techniques, Wet Spots and Creative Solutions, “Down to Business” by Alison Tyler

chapter 6: faster, deeper, more!
G-Spot Play with Vibrators, G-Spot Play with Anal Sex, G-Spot Play with Oral Sex, G-Spot Play with S/M and Power Play, G-Spot Play with a Fist, “Pervert” by Alison Tyler

chapter 7: shopping and further study
Online shopping, More Online Resources, Highly Recommended Reading, Recommended Viewing, Safe Sex Info

about the author
Throughout the book, when talking about sex and sexual partners, Blue alternates between discussing masturbation, M/F sex, and F/F sex. So whether you are a woman looking to learn more about your own body, a bi female or lesbian wanting to find out more about both yourself and your female partner, or a man wanting to learn how to please your woman, this book will include information and descriptions that are relevant to you.

The book is mainly text, but does have a couple of anatomical diagrams to help show you where exactly the g-spot is. Even though the book includes all the necessary information about the female g-spot, I would have liked a little more clinical data. I'm one of those weird people who actually likes reading research articles. For most people, I imagine that the amount of information in this book would be very satisfactory.

The erotic short stories by Alison Tyler that are included as fictional examples of g-spot play are interesting and arousing. “Good to be Wrong” is about a pair of lesbians experimenting with g-spot masturbation. “Found” and “Down to Business” are both about heterosexual encounters in a hotel and an office respectively. “Pervert” involves some medical role-playing and power play between a man and a woman.

The book itself is a nice quality trade paperback. It is 8” tall by 5.5” wide, and is 131 pages long. The front of the book is very simple, consisting of a white background with part of a female torso(bottom of the breasts to the top of the mons pubis) laying across the middle. The title is written partly across the girl's torso and partly on the white area beneath, and the author's name is listed on the bottom right corner. The back cover has basically a mirror reversed image of the front cover with the standard blurb written across it. This is not a discreet book, and unless you like shocking people, it is probably best read in the privacy of your own home.


I read this book in one sitting and thoroughly enjoyed it. I kept having to explain to my husband, who was sitting next to me reading his own book, what I was laughing about. I would occasionally share the more interesting tidbits of information with him, and he kept leaning over my shoulder to read my book instead of his. It made for a fun evening.

I would highly recommend “The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot” to anyone, male or female, who wants to learn more about the female g-spot. You can buy a copy at EdenFantasys.com, and if you use promo code: THR, you can get 15% off of this book and any other regularly priced items.

I hope you found this review useful. If you would like to help me keep writing reviews, please vote on this review at my Eden Fantasys review page.

product picture
Book by Violet Blue
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Cleis Press Inc.

I received this book for free as part of a Naked Reader Book Club promotion. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Sex Toy Orgy

A few days ago, I got a reminder email that it was time to do a follow-up review of the G-Fun, which was the very first toy that I ever wrote a review for. Now I really did not like the G-Fun. It was more frustrating than anything else. (You can read my review of the G-Fun here.) But I felt that before I could write an honest follow-up review for the toy, I had to at least try it out again. Dedicated sex toy reviewer that I am, I un-girded my loins and gave the G-Fun another go.

It was still awful. Awful sickly sweet smell. Awful jelly material. Awful weak vibrations. Okay weak vibrations aren't inherently awful; some people prefer weaker vibrations, but not I. I prefer stronger vibes. Anyway, after trying out the G-Fun and re-affirming my dislike of the toy. I decided I needed to play with something else to get the bad taste out of my vagina.

I grabbed a new silicone dildo (the Tentacle) and one of my favorite bullets (the High Intensity Bullet) and went at it. I had a lot of fun with those two toys, but decided that I wasn't quite satisfied yet. So I pulled out another toy... and then another. I just kept playing with one toy after another for several hours. This is not exactly usual for me. I will fairly regularly play with two toys in a single session, but I have never just gone through my toy chest and played with toy after toy.

By the end of the session, I had played with 2 g-spot vibrators, 1 traditional vibrator, 2 bullets, 1 silicone dildo and 2 glass dildo's. That's 8 toys altogether. By the time I finally wound down and stopped playing with my toys, I was pretty tired and a little sore. However, I was very, very relaxed.

As I was cleaning everything up and putting everything away. I couldn't help but laugh as I realized what I had done.

I had had a sex toy orgy!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Foreign Affairs -- Story Summaries

A review of "Foreign Affairs" edited by Mitzi Szereto.

“Foreign Affairs” by Mitzi Szereto is an anthology of erotic travel tales. You can read my overall review of this anthology, “A Delectable Mixture Of Erotic Tales And Exotic Locales”, on the EdenFantasys website. The following paragraphs are brief synopses of the 21 stories in book. (I also give an abbreviated summary of the sexual elements of each story in the parentheses following the descriptive summary.)


In “Vietnamese Art” by Christine Bellerose, a white woman studying body language in Hanoi, exchanges lessons in the art of non-verbal communication with a sexy young Vietnamese man. The writing in this story is beautifully complex and introduces us to several interesting concepts inherent in the Vietnamese language. It is one of my favorite stories in this anthology. (M/F, PIV, sex in public, interracial sex)

“So Cold the Night” by Cheyenne Blue is a rather depressing story of desperation and desire between a destitute young woman and a not-so-devout Baptist boy in the snow covered mountains of Colorado. (M/F, PIV, car sex)

During “One Day on 375” by Helena Settimana, a dyke and a queen go tripping(in both senses of the word) towards Roswell, New Mexico in search of UFO's. And then things get weird... (lesbian F/??/gay M, ???)

A married woman travels to a Baja vacation home with a self-absorbed ex-boyfriend whose wife has given her tacit permission to their affair in “Broken Windows” by Carole Rosenthal. Although the ex-boyfriend enjoys putting his sexual encounters on display, he keeps whatever emotions he might have, hidden from the women in his life. An ambiguous story about an ambiguous relationship.(M/F, oral, PIV, exhibitionism)

In “At the Falls” by Opal Palmer Adisa, a middle-aged Jamaican woman travels to St. Lucia to discover the fulfillment that has been severely lacking in her life. Although the island patois used in the dialogue made it difficult to understand at times, this gentle story of sensual awakening made me long to visit the islands of the Caribbean. (M/F, oral, PIV, outdoor sex)

“Twelve Days in a Week” by Des Ariel, is a homo erotic tale about a middle-eastern man and a Caribbean boy, both foreign to the English city in which they found each other. Although not the sort of story that I could relate to, it was, nevertheless, beautifully written. (M/M, oral, anal, older/younger)

The stream of consciousness style of narrative used in the story “Peking Duck” by Linda Jaivin, adds a sense of immediacy to the tale it tells of an Australian photographer's sexual adventure in Beijing. (M/F, oral, PIV, sex in public, interracial sex)

“Odalisque” by the editor of the book, Mitzi Szereto, tells of a western woman who finds both romance and disillusionment in the wealthy middle-eastern city of Dubai. (M/F, anal, interracial sex)

Deception is “All in a Day's Work” for a jaded world traveler who likes to play a variety of different roles as she seduces various people in the many cities she visits. This sizzling tale of a woman who uses her wiles to create the diverse sexual adventures that she unabashedly craves was written by Rachelle Claret. (M/F, PIV, oral, role-playing, dominance)

An unhappy woman leaves her old life behind and finds a new life and a new love with a blues guitarist in “Biloxi” by Gwen Masters (M/F, oral sex, PIV sex)

“Mer Boy” by Gerard Wozek, focuses on a gay man's feelings of loss and longing in a seedy bathhouse in Brussels. (M/M, oral, anal)

The narrator in “The Sex Critic” by Diane LeBow, describes the problems and peccadilloes of the various lovers that she's sampled during her travels around the world. Some of her encounters are hot, some are humorous, all are interesting in one way or another. (M/F, various)

I had a very hard time reading “Sightseeing in the Holy Land” by Tabitha Flyte. In it a woman who yearns for sexual adventure is honeymooning in the Holy Lands with her overtly religious, incredibly judgmental and practically asexual new husband. I have trouble believing that this wannabe wild woman would have willingly wed such a narrow-minded stick in the mud. She can barely stand to spend her honeymoon with him, but still claims that she made the right decision to marry him. It's an interesting story, but one that frustrates and depresses me. (M/F, masturbation, exhibitionism)

A young woman who is at first too ashamed to even look at her reflection discovers how to delight in her own body during her sexual defiance of the person she believes is watching her “Through the Looking Glass”. This story, written by Grevel Lindop and set in Rome, shows how a journey through one's own imagination can be a transformational experience.(M/F, masturbation, oral, PIV, exhibitionism)

“Whitewood” by A. F. Waddell was one of my least favorite stories in the anthology. It was a weird combination of gay ghost story and sexual science text set in south Louisiana. Though I suppose it could also be described as a simple “slice-of-(after)life” story. (M/F, car sex, oral, PIV)

In “More Moments of Sheer Joy” by Jai Clare, a self-absorbed, sexually repressed woman who is engaged in a fund-raising island-hopping trip around the world without her husband and daughter, dreams of having an extramarital affair. I found this story a bit confusing and rather frustrating, and I frankly disliked the lead character/narrator. (M/F, foreplay)

Some might consider “Vows” by Lisabet Sarai, to be sacrilegious. I suppose it is in a way, since it involves the attempted seduction of a Buddhist monk by a married couple on vacation in Laos. However, I think the subject matter is handled extremely sensitively and shows what seems to be a strong understanding of Buddhist philosophy. (M/M, M/F, oral, PIV, interracial sex)

A happily married woman spends “Three Days on Santorini” waiting for her husband to join her. When he finally arrives, they vigorously affirm their affection for one another. The author, Sage Vivant, gives a tantalizing taste of Greek food and culture in this simmering story. (M/F, masturbation, oral, PIV)

“Ukiyo” by Donna George Storey tells the story of a white woman who has earned the status of “honorary male” in the still surprisingly sexist culture of upper-class Japan. Having lost interest in sex during her work to reach tenure as a professor, she re-discovers sensual pleasure with a traditional geisha girl.(F/F, gender-play, interracial sex)

In “Remembering Andrei” by Debra Hyde, a female violinist remembers an affair she had with a young Romanian man while on tour as part of a cultural exchange program in the mid 1970's, before Ceausescu broke off all relations with western culture. (M/F, oral, PIV)

While traveling with her husband in France, a flight attendant learns that the bed and breakfast they are staying in offers much more than the usual “Continental Breakfast” by Holly Ferris. (M/F, no actual sex)


I hope you found these summaries useful. If you want to help me keep writing reviews, please vote on this review at my EdenFantasys review page.

product picture
Book by Collection of Stories by Various Authors
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Cleis Press Inc.

This product was provided to me free of charge by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Riddle Poem Contest

UPDATE: Several people have reported that they are unable to post their guesses (and explanations) on the Eden Lit Club blog post of the poem. If you have tried to post your answer there and were unable to, simply post your answer(and explanation if you have one) in the comment section of this blog and you will still be entered.

A couple of people have been able to post their answers on the Eden Lit Club blog, but were unable to post on this blog. I think I've fixed that problem, but if you posted on the Eden Lit Club blog and not here, you will still be entered in the contest.

I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.

Many years ago, I came up with a riddle poem, but I never published it anywhere until now. It is now posted on the Eden Lit Club blog under the terribly unoriginal name "Riddle Poem". The poem is about something very specific. If you “Leave A Comment” below the poem making a reasonable guess as to what it is about, and then follow the instructions below, you will be entered into a contest to win a custom made sex toy storage bag.

In order to enter for a chance to win, once you have commented on the Eden Lit Club blog with your guess as to what the poem is about, then you must come back to this blog and post a comment telling me that you made a guess. You may only do this once. If the name you use to comment on this blog is different than the name you use to comment on the Eden Lit Club blog, make sure to tell me what your Eden Lit Club blog name is.

Your guess does not have to be accurate, but if it is blatantly obvious that you didn't even try to figure things out, or if you simply guess the exact same thing that someone else has already guessed, I reserve the right to exclude you from the contest. The answer is not something that can be stated in just one or two words. The shortest way that I can state the answer involves five words, and that's being extremely concise. I do not expect anyone to get the answer exactly right, but if someone does, I may decide to make a special pouch just for them. So give it your best shot.

If you want to get an extra chance to win, explain in your Eden Lit Club comment how you chose the answer to the riddle by referring to the specific words or phrases from the poem that led you to your guess. You may only do this once, preferably in the same "comment" with your guess, however, you can also post a separate "comment" with your explanation.

You can also get one more chance to win by signing up to follow this blog. Simply post a comment below that states that you have signed up to follow the blog and you will be entered. If you are already following this blog, simply state in the comments that you are already following. You may only do this once.

You can also get more chances to win by tweeting about this contest (make sure to include a link to this blog post) and commenting below with the link to your specific tweet. If you do not know how to find the link to a specific tweet, read this. You may enter once per day by tweeting.

The contest ends at 11:59pm on Wednesday, August 31. Once the contest is over, I will announce the winner's name on this blog. I will also announce the answer to the Riddle Poem.

I used to sew professionally and I have a lot of very nice fabrics that I can use to make a bag to fit any one reasonably sized sex toy. Once you win and we have exchanged contact information, you can tell me what sex toy you want the bag to fit and what colors, fabrics, designs, etc... you prefer, and I will make a pretty pouch for your special toy.

I will ship the storage bag by USPS priority mail anywhere in the continental US for free. I'm sorry, but if you live outside of the US, I cannot afford to ship to you for free. You may still enter the contest, but you will have to pay for the shipping costs.

Good luck!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Love is a Sickness...

While reading the online magazine SexIs, I came across an article and video by Nikol Hasler that reminded me of a poem that I'd read many years ago, long before I'd met my wonderful husband. It is a poem about love, but it is definitely not the usual sweetness and light that you expect from poems about love.


Love is a Sickness
by
Samuel Daniel

Love is a sickness full of woes,
All remedies refusing;
A plant that most with cutting grows,
Most barren with best using.
Why so?
More we enjoy it, more it dies;
If not enjoyed, it sighing cries,
Heigh ho!

Love is a torment of the mind,
A tempest everlasting;
And Jove hath made it of a kind
Not well, nor full, nor fasting.
Why so?
More we enjoy it, more it dies;
If not enjoyed, it sighing cries,
Heigh ho!


At that time in my life, I was pretty miserable with trying to find someone that I could actually love and who would love me back. I was also witness to so many dysfunctional romances that seemed to thrive on abuse and wither from kindness, that it made me wonder if all “love” was like that. I'm usually not that into poetry, but this poem from the 16th century stuck in my mind because it showed that human relationships really haven't changed over hundreds of years.

Fortunately, not all relationships are really like that, but it still surprises me what some people will put up with simply so that they won't be alone.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Steamy, But Not Exactly Steampunk.

A review of "Carnal Machines: Steampunk Erotica" edited by D. L. King.

If your first taste of erotica leaves you unsatisfied, give it another chance. You might be pleasantly surprised. I was.

I was very excited to receive my copy of “Carnal Machines: Steampunk Erotica” edited by D. L. King. It was to be the first book of erotica that I ever read. When the book arrived, I was actually in the middle of re-reading my favorite steampunk trilogy(Martha Well's “The Fall of Ile-Rien”), and not wanting to quit before finishing the series (again), I decided I had to wait to read “Carnal Machines”. However, I could not resist taking a quick peek at what was in store for me. I glanced through the table of contents and picked one of the shorter stories to read. Unfortunately, I chose “The Perfect Girl” by Jay Lawrence.

It was bad. I mean really, really bad. I was devastated. I had been so excited about delving into the realm of erotic fiction, and this was what it was like? I was so disillusioned with the idea of erotica that I didn't even want to read the other stories, fearing that they would be just as horrible. However, I had bought the book, so I wasn't simply going to discard it. Therefore, after I finished reading Wells' steampunk trilogy, I went back and started reading “Carnal Machines” from the beginning, which is what I should have done in the first place. After all, the editors of anthologies spend a lot of time deciding which stories should be placed in which order. To read the stories out of order is to ignore their careful work.

Once I read the book the way it was meant to be read – from the beginning – I actually liked it. I liked it a lot. In almost any anthology, there are going to be a few stories that you love and a few stories that you just don't like that much. Fortunately, in “Carnal Machines”, almost all of the stories were well-written, entertaining and, to some degree or another, arousing. Unfortunately, most of the authors, though adept with erotica, seemed to have little idea of what steampunk is actually about.

Steampunk is not about what people actually did or might have been able to do with steam powered engines during the Victorian era. That would simply be historical fiction -- which is what I would call most of these stories. Steampunk is about an alternate version of the Victorian era in which magic and alchemy work in combination with Newtonian physics to create a sci fi/fantasy version of a real period in history. Although I really enjoyed the vast majority of these stories, I would not actually call them steampunk. At least not the kind of steampunk that I know and love.

In my opinion, only the first story, “Human Powered” by Teresa Noelle Roberts, truly fits within the genre of steampunk because of its combination of alchemy and mechanical engineering. The last story, “The Succubus” by Elizabeth Schechter, could also be considered steampunk in a way. Although no mention is made of magic or alchemy, the mechanical contraption in the story could not exist without seriously altering the laws of reality. Needless to say, these stories are also my two favorite stories in the anthology.

In “Human Powered”, a female scientist consults a male colleague on improving her alchemical/mechanical device for harvesting the energy of sexual frustration. Sexual desire overwhelms scientific curiosity leading to a steamy sex scene (steampunk – steamy; it had to be done) with a “powerful” climax.

The second story, “The Servant Question” by Janine Ashbless is very cleverly written. An attentive reader will pick up on clues given early in the story and will feel a certain satisfaction in accurately predicting what is to come.

“Sleight of Hand” by Renee Michaels is a fun little story about a thief whose nemesis traps and tames her in a most interesting way.

Set on a retro-futuristic wooden spaceship, “Mutiny on the Danika Blue” by Poe Von Page demonstrates the discrepancy that can exist between public and private behavior in a BDSM relationship. Although I thoroughly enjoyed this story, the steampunk elements seemed to have been tacked on simply to make the story eligible for this anthology. A traditional ocean going ship from an actual time in history where women were considered men's property would have been a more appropriate setting.

“Deviant Devices” by Kannan Feng is one of the many stories in this anthology that focus on describing the functions of a steam powered sex engine. Fortunately, the characters of Victoria and Mercer and the development of their relationship more than make up for the not terribly original steam engine elements.

My least favorite story, “The Perfect Girl” by Jay Lawrence, is a rather lame story told from the perspective of a girl in a brothel who can't make up her mind about what she wants. It attempts to be clever, but fails horribly in my opinion.

“Dr. Mullaley's Cure” by Delilah Devlin is one of two stories that deal with a certain Victorian “treatment” for hysterical women. In this case, one that involves quite a variety of steam powered sex toys.

“Her Own Devices” by Lisabet Sarai has, in retrospect, a very clever title. She also has some sly, tongue-in-cheek foreshadowing in her story which is set in Victorian Hong Kong. It is yet another story that describes steam powered sex toys, but this one has a clever twist to go with the clever title. I was also impressed that the author actually knew how to properly remove a Victorian corset. So many writers get it wrong.

In “Lair of the Red Countess” by Kathleen Bradean, a bored gentleman adventurer finds new realms to explore while under the control of a powerful woman. Some people may find the slightly non-consensual elements at the beginning of this story disturbing, but frankly, I think he deserved to be taught a lesson – one that he thoroughly enjoyed.

“Infernal Machine” by Elias A. St. James features yet another steam powered sexual device, though no one understands what this one is at first. Discovering its secrets proves both exciting and frightening for a pair of male lovers in Paris.

“Doctor Watson Makes a House Call” by Essemoh Teepee is the second story in this anthology that features the Victorian treatment for hysterical paroxysm in women. And yes, the Dr. Watson in this story is the sidekick from the Sherlock Holmes stories, but this story is nothing like a Sherlock Holmes mystery.

In “The Treatment” written by the editor of this anthology, D. L. King, a woman harvests the energy of young men's sexual frustration. Frankly, I did not like this story. The young men are not seen as people, but as resources to be used, and the non-consensual elements of their “treatment” disturbed me. Also, though not as important a concern, a Chinese woman is described as using chopsticks to hold up her hair. Would you use a fork to comb your hair? Asian hair sticks may superficially resemble chopsticks, just as a fork may superficially resemble a comb, but they are NOT the same thing. I know that this is a very small detail, and one that most people would not even notice or care about; but it seriously annoyed me and made it hard for me to get back into the story.

“Lucifer Einstein and the Curious Case of the Carnal Contraption” by Tracey Shellito is a light hearted mystery in which a female detective must track down a perpetrator of pleasure. Yet again, mechanical sex toys play a major role in the story. Although there are some non-consensual elements to this story, they are very mild, and the “victims” are more delighted than damaged.

The very last story in this anthology is probably my favorite – “The Succubus” by Elizabeth Schechter. Told from the first person point of view, the narrator leads us beyond the facade of a respectable woman's home to the slightly sinister siren that inhabits the upper rooms of the house. Mystery surrounds this steam powered succubus, but she is aware of everything that occurs within the House of the Sable Locks. “The walls have already whispered his secrets to me...” She speaks of her power and ability with a detached omniscience that creates a delightfully disturbing atmosphere for this story of domination and desire.

At the end of the book are several pages which give brief biographies of the various authors, as well as a slightly longer biography of the editor, D. L. King. King is both a successful writer and editor. She has edited three books of erotic short stories, as well as publishing and editing “Erotica Revealed”, an erotica review site. She has authored numerous short stories which can be found in a variety of anthologies, and she has written two novels of female domination.

The book itself is a very nice trade sized paperback (5.5” x 8”), printed on high quality paper with an attractively designed slick cover. The cover features a photograph of a slightly inhuman looking woman wearing a pair of steampunk goggles. If not for the word “Erotica” in relatively small print on the cover, it would not be apparent what type of book this was. A portion of the front picture covers the far left side of the back cover. The words, “Full Power Erotica” are printed in a slightly larger than average font above the standard blurb, which rather creatively follows the contours of the woman's picture as it descends the page.


So, although I wouldn't read this book in the office (and who wants to read erotica in the office anyway?), it should be safe to read in most public settings. It is not completely discreet, but it does not scream erotica.

After my initial disappointment with that one story, I really enjoyed reading “Carnal Machines”. I've since read a couple of other erotic anthologies and understand a bit more about erotica in general. Although, I still say that most of the stories in “Carnal Machines” do not fit my definition of steampunk, they are, nevertheless, fun and arousing erotic stories. If you like erotica, you will probably like this book. If you like Victoriana, you will probably like this book. If you like steampunk, you may or may not be disappointed with most of the stories, depending on how flexible your expectations are when it comes to steampunk.


I hope you found this review useful. If you want to help me keep writing reviews, please vote on this review at my EdenFantasys review page.


product picture
Book by Collection of Stories by Various Authors
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Cleis Press Inc.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Would You Like To Receive a Free Book Of Erotica?

Come as my guest to the next Naked Reader Book Club online meeting, and you will receive a free book of erotica from Cleiss Press! You can choose any Cleiss book of erotic fiction that Eden Fantasys has in stock. The meeting takes place on the EdenFantasys Forums in the Naked Reader Book Club section on August 9 beginning at 8pm Eastern Standard Time.

Here is the direct link to the thread titled,”Naked Reader Book Club Discussion: G Is For Games, Edited by Alison Tyler (August 9, 8-10 PM EST)”

It does not matter, in the least, whether you have read the book being discussed. However, you will need to set up an Eden Fantasys account before you can participate in the forum discussion.

When you arrive at the meeting, simply say that you are the guest of Ivy Wilde and you will be mailed your free book. You don't even have to pay for shipping. If you have any questions, please feel free to post them in the comments section below. I will answer them to the best of my ability.

I look forward to meeting you at the next Naked Reader Book Club discussion!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Flores Vibrator: Music To Soothe The Not-So-Savage Vagina

A review of the Flores vibrator by Close 2 You.

Close 2 You, the creators of the Flores dual stimulation vibrator, like to name and describe their sex toys using musical terminology. According to Close 2 You, the term “Flores”(Latin, meaning: to flower) refers to the purely decorative vocals or instrumentals found in classical music. I was taught that these were called flourishes, but the two terms sound rather similar, and were probably derived from the same root word originally. Also, Close 2 You is based in Germany, and it is not surprising that musical terminology varies a bit in different languages.

The Flores vibrator is certainly decorative, but it is also a very functional dual stimulation vibrator. The Flores is designed to be inserted vaginally so that the head of the shaft stimulates your G-spot while the “Clef”, the name they've given to the Flores' clitoral attachment, stimulates your clitoris. Because the Flores has a large head at the end of a narrower shaft, you could also conceivably use this toy as a sort of vibrating vaginal exerciser.

The Flores could be used anally, since the Clef is certainly large enough to prevent the toy from being pulled inside and lost. However, I am not sure how well the Flores would work as an anal toy since dual stimulation vibrators are not designed with anal use in mind. However, the shape of the bulbous head with the narrower shaft beneath, might allow it to work as an odd sort of vibrating butt plug.

To use the kind of musical metaphor that the makers of the Flores frequently employ when describing their products... The Flores is perfect for solo performances, but also works well with duets.


MATERIAL/TEXTURE:
The main body of the Flores is made from silicone, which rates a 10 out of 10 on the EF material safety index. Silicone is non-porous, phthlates free, latex free and hypo-allergenic. Silicone also retains heat very well, which you can use to your advantage by gently heating your toy with warm water before using it.

The surface of this silicone has a very pleasant velvety feel that creates a fair amount of drag. Although the surface feels soft, the body of the toy is actually quite firm. It has a little bit of give to it, but not much.

Because of the drag created by the texture of this silicone, you will probably need to use lubricant with this toy. Water based lubes are the only completely safe lube to use with silicone. Some silicone toys are not damaged by silicone lubricant, but you should always spot test an inconspicuous area first before using a silicone lube on a silicone toy.

Although silicone has a reputation as a lint magnet, that did not seem to be the case with this toy. Even after quite a bit of handling and being left lying around on the computer desk, I didn't notice any obvious lint or cat hair sticking to it. And I have several cats, so cat hair is everywhere in my house.

When I held the toy up to my nose, I could detect a very faint scent. It wasn't chemically or rubbery. I couldn't quite figure out what it smelled like, but it was very faint and somewhat pleasant. Even after several washings, there was still a very faint scent.

When I licked and sucked on the silicone portions of the toy, I could not taste anything at all, and the texture of the silicone felt surprisingly pleasant against my lips and tongue.

The base of the Flores appears to be hard plastic, while the two buttons feel like the same silicone as the main body of the toy.


DESIGN/SHAPE/SIZE:
The Flores has a large head at the end of a tapered shaft. The head has a series of five wavy ridges -- which probably represent the five lines in a staff of musical notation -- that encircle it to create greater stimulation. When held horizontally, the shaft of the toy curves slightly upward to facilitate G-spot stimulation. The shaft is narrowest just below the head then thickens toward the base.

Just in front of where the clitoral stimulator is attached, there is another series of five wavy ridges that descend diagonally on the shaft. Where the ridges run under the shaft beneath where the Clef is attached, the added texture makes it easier to hold on to the Flores when it is covered in lube.

The clitoral stimulator is designed to resemble a G-clef (also called a treble clef or violin clef). (**ASIDE: I wonder if they chose the G-clef because it sort of sounds like G-spot.**) The cute little curled up tail of the Clef is more decorative than functional. However, it does makes a nice thumb rest.


The Flores in pink, a G-clef on a staff of music, the G-clef superimposed over the Flores'(in green) clitoral stimulator.


The Flores is apx 9.25 inches in total length with apx 4.875 Inches insertable. The widest part of the head, which is thicker from top to bottom than from side to side, is apx 1.625 inches from top to bottom and 1.375 inches from side to side. The thinnest part of the shaft which is right below the head is apx 1 inch in diameter. The shaft gradually widens until it becomes apx 1.5 inches in diameter just in front of where the clitoral stimulator attaches.

The slightly bulbous tip of the clitoral stimulator is apx 7/8 of an inch in diameter at its widest part, and the leading point of the Clef rests apx 1.375 inches above the shaft. However, with a little effort, it is possible to pinch the Clef down closer to the shaft using only one hand. It takes both hands to flex the Clef away from the shaft.

The Flores' rather bulbous head may be too large for some people, and, as with any dual stimulation toy, the placement of the clitoral stimulator may or may not work for you depending on how well it fits with your anatomy.


PERFORMANCE:
The Flores is operated by two silicone covered buttons on the base of the toy. The top button turns the toy on and off, and the bottom button cycles the toy through its eight vibration settings. You do NOT have to cycle through all the settings to turn the toy off. Pressing the on/off button turns it off immediately. Unfortunately, there is no way to set the controls so that the Flores doesn't turn on accidentally, so if you are traveling with it, it would be best to remove the batteries and carry them separately.

Inspired by Close 2 You's (over)use of music-related language, I came up with names for the eight vibration variations based on what seemed like the appropriate musical terminology.

The settings are as follows:

1.Adagio: a weak steady vibration (1 vroom)
2.Andante: a moderately weak steady vibration (2 vrooms)
3.Allegro: a moderate steady vibration (3 vrooms)
4.Crescendo: a vibration that quickly rises from weak to moderate, followed by a pause
5.Staccato: evenly paced pulses of moderate vibrations
6.Arpeggio: an ascending sequence of weak, moderately weak and moderate vibrations followed by three pulses of moderate vibrations
7.Vibrato: a rapid alternation between moderately weak and moderate vibrations for five beats with a sustained moderate vibration on the sixth beat, then a brief pause
8.Rondo: a long pulse followed by four short pulses and another long pulse, all at moderate vibration level, then a pause

As mentioned in the descriptions of the settings, the vibrations created by the Flores never get stronger than about 3 out of a possible 5 vrooms. I believe the motor creating the vibrations is in the shaft of the toy just in front of the clitoral attachment, but it is really hard to tell because the firm silicone transmits the vibrations very evenly, creating diffuse vibrations throughout the entire body of the toy. However, the vibrations in the head of the shaft seem slightly stronger than the vibrations in the Clef.

On every setting, the Flores is fairly quiet, about 2 out of a possible 5 bees. Even at its loudest setting, when I put it under thick covers and moved apx 12 feet away, I couldn't hear it buzzing. When I placed it behind a closed door, I could not hear a thing, even when I was standing right next to the door.

The Flores runs on 2 AA batteries that are inserted in the base of the toy. To open the toy, you simply twist the plastic base less than a quarter of a turn and the cap pops off. There are very faint markings depicting which way the batteries are to be inserted. Then twist the cap less than a quarter of a turn in the opposite direction and the cap is closed. It is surprisingly easy to open and close this uniquely designed cap.

Close 2 You claims that all of their toys are fully waterproof. However, since the O-ring in the Flores is absolutely tiny(it took me a while to find it, even though I was looking for it), and the battery cap comes off with less than a quarter of a twist, I would be extremely hesitant to submerge this toy in water. However, it appears to be completely splash proof. When washing it, I passed it through running water several times and I never found any dampness in the battery compartment afterwards.


CARE AND MAINTENANCE:
Silicone and plastic are both easy care materials. They can be washed with warm water and anti-bacterial soap or toy cleaner for general cleaning purposes, but they can also be more thoroughly disinfected. Silicone may be wiped down with a 10% bleach solution to sterilize it, and plastic can be wiped down with rubbing alcohol. Although some silicone toys can be safely boiled or run through the dishwasher on the top rack with no detergent, I would not recommend trying that with this toy because of the mechanical and plastic parts.

Because both silicone and plastic can be sterilized, you could share this toy with others, or use it anally as well as vaginally, as long as you sterilized it between users/uses.

As mentioned earlier, only water based lubricants are completely safe to use with silicone toys.

Silicone toys should be stored separately from any other toys because there is a chance the silicone could interact with other materials in a way that damages the toys. Many people store their silicone toys in plastic baggies or other special storage bags to protect them from lint and interactions with other toys. However, the Flores comes with its own pretty purple velveteen storage bag. You could also store it inside the very classy box that it comes in.

Whenever you store your toys for any length of time, you should always remove the batteries to prevent draining the batteries and/or damaging the toy if the batteries leak.

PACKAGING:
The Flores comes in a very elegant white cardboard box. There is a color picture of the Flores on the front of the box with a faint black and white image of a happy couple behind it. The front of the box is held closed with a magnet, but opens up like the cover of a book to reveal the Flores behind a plastic window.

The box has two drawers which arrive held closed by small round pieces of tape. In the top drawer, the Flores is nested inside a piece of foam custom designed to safely hold the sex toy. The bottom drawer holds; a purple velveteen drawstring bag that's just the right size to hold the Flores, a booklet describing the Close 2 You product line and giving general instructions about their toys in 10 different languages, a purple silicone cock ring in a plastic packet, a sample of Glissando lubricant, a toy cleaning wipe in a foil packet, and two extremely weak AA batteries that lasted less than twenty minutes in the Flores.


The back of the box has a rather flowery description of the Flores in 10 different languages and some contact information for the Close 2 You company.

Although not entirely discreet, the box is nice enough to make the Flores a lovely gift item.

The purple velveteen bag that comes with the Flores looks nice, but it is not padded and will not provide much protection other than from dust and dirt.

The booklet that comes with the Flores consists mainly of pages promoting the entire line of Close 2 You toys. There are no specific instructions for operating the Flores, but there are some general instructions that apply to all of their toys. There are also descriptions of the eight vibration settings which are apparently the same in just about half of the C2Y toys. The other toys share the same six settings. The booklet is fairly thick, but only because it repeats the same information in ten different languages.

The cock ring is a plain purple band with the C2Y logo embossed on it. The band is apx ¾ of an inch wide. Unstretched, the interior diameter is apx 1.375 inches. I managed to stretch it around a 2 inch diameter bottle, and it could probably stretch a little bit more, but not much.

The sample tube of water based Glissando lube lists the following ingredients: aqua, propylene, glycol, glycerine, aloe barbadensis leaf extract, tocopheryl acetate, hydroxyethylcellulose, hydroxypropyl guar hydroxypropyltrimonium, chloride, lactic acid.

Glissando has a sweet floral scent that is not overly strong. I was unwilling to taste it to see what it tasted like. It felt smooth and slick when rubbed between my fingers (as all lubes should) and moderately thick. Over time, however, it became somewhat tacky and I could not wipe it off my fingers. I had to wash my hands to clean it off.

The toy cleaner wipe was apx 5” by 8” and had a very pleasant clean scent. I tried it out by wiping off the slight bit of dust and lint the Flores had picked up while being handled as I was writing this review. The wipe left a light film on my hands which absorbed fairly quickly into my skin, leaving my skin with the pleasant clean scent. Unfortunately, the scent lingered far longer than I would have liked, and I eventually had to wash my hands to get rid of it. I did not have the opportunity to use the wipe to clean a dirty toy, but it seems like it would do a decent quickie cleaning. However, since I am a little OCD about cleaning my toys, I would recommend doing a more thorough wash before storing the toy or using it again.


PERSONAL COMMENTS:
When I went to the Close 2 You website to try and find more information about the Flores, I actually found a page on their site with music they had composed to help create the “right atmosphere”. Considering the high quality of their toys and their apparent love of music, I was surprised at how amateurish and just plain bad this music was. They should stick to making sex toys.

The website itself was attractively designed, but provided little information. What little information there was, was couched in overly ornate verbiage that made the information vague and even misleading at times.


EXPERIENCE:
Unfortunately, the Flores could not conduct my symphony to its climactic conclusion. Although, it did provide a nice prelude and intermezzo. The curved shape of the Flores made it easy for the head of the shaft to reach my G-spot, and when I squeezed the Clef down far enough for it to actually make contact with my clitoris, it did provide enough stimulation to get my clit humming. Unfortunately, the music it created was closer to the Moonlight Sonata than the 1812 Overture. It was pleasant, but it lacked the big explosions at the end.

Admittedly, my vagina is very difficult to please. It requires strong direct vibrations to bring it to orgasm. The Flores' vibrations were just too weak and diffuse to satisfy my savage vagina.

(**ASIDE: I originally wanted to title this review, “Music To Soothe The Savage Vagina”. But unfortunately, the Flores wasn't quite strong enough to soothe my savage vagina -- so nick-named because it is very demanding and has a tendency to chew up condoms. However, I think that the Flores would still be a great toy for women with not-so-savage vagina's. Thus the current title of this review.**)

Also, the Flores did not exactly fit my anatomy. The clitoral stimulator made more contact with my mons pubis than it did with my clitoris, and when the head of the Flores was hitting my G-spot, the Clef wasn't even touching my body.

This is not to say that the Flores is a bad sex toy. It's actually a very high quality dual stimulation vibrator. It just doesn't suit my specific needs. It would be better suited for women who enjoy less intense and more diffuse vibrations; and it would be a better anatomical fit for women whose clitoris and vagina are farther apart and/or whose G-spot is further inside them.

However, even though our first attempts at harmony did not work out, I will continue to play with this sex toy in the hope that someday the Flores and I will find a way to make beautiful music together.


I hope that you found this review useful. If you want to help me keep writing reviews, please vote on this review at my EdenFantasys review page.

product picture
G-spot and clitoral vibrator by Close2You
Material: Silicone
Safety:
Rating:
Vroom:
Bee:

This product was provided to me free of charge by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

Monday, August 1, 2011

I Unleash My Vitriol

Which makes no sense because vitriol is a corrosive acid, not a wild animal. It would make more sense to say,”I pour out my vitriol”, but that just doesn't sound nearly threatening enough. Anyway...

I have been trying to write a review of an anthology of erotic stories called, “Carnal Machines: Steampunk Erotica”. It was the very first book of erotica that I had ever read (and almost the last). But every time I try to work on it, I get distracted by how much I hated, Hated, HATED! one story. It's not the first story in the book, but for various reasons, it was the first story I read. And it almost turned me off of erotica for life, which would have been a real shame. So... I am pissed at the story, not just because it was appallingly bad, but because it almost prevented me from enjoying a whole new genre of writing.

I am going to tear this story apart. So, if you liked every single story in “Carnal Machines” and don't want to see one ripped apart, stop reading this blog post and go read something else. If by some chance you are the editor of Carnal Machines (or the author of one of the stories) and would be hurt by hearing about how much I despised a certain story(possibly your story), don't read this. It's going to be vicious. Or as vicious as I get.

Stop reading now, if you don't want to witness the carnage.

This is your last warning.

Ok, if you are still reading, then you are obviously willing to listen to my ranting and raving.

And it will be quite the rant (but not a very good rave because I don't do those kinds of drugs). I just need to get this poisonous negativity out of my head. So I'm going to vomit it onto the keyboard, and send it out into cyberspace, where hopefully, it will stop bothering me.

The story was called “The Perfect Girl” and... It...Was...Awful.

I'm fairly certain that the author had never read a genuine steampunk story in her life. But that was not the only problem. The main character was about as consistent as a two year old's attention span. To call the secondary characters two dimensional would be crediting them with more depth than they displayed. And the overall plot made about as much sense as a drunk sorority girl explaining quantum physics. To top it all off, there wasn't even much of what I would call sex, just some confusing BDSM play. To say that I was disappointed would be somewhat of an understatement.

In my mind I was thinking, if this pathetic excuse for a story is erotica, then erotica sucks. And not in a fun way. I just wasted $15 on a book of badly written sex stories that don't have any sex in them. I was royally pissed off.

After, I had a chance to cool down, I went back and read the rest of the book. This time, I started at the beginning and was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. The rest of the stories were all reasonably well-written, entertaining, and, to some degree or another, arousing. Erotica had been redeemed.

So what was it about “The Perfect Girl” that made is so bad, you ask. Well, let me tell you.

The story was set in a specialized brothel that supplied girls to suit every need. It is told from the point of view of one of the working girls who specializes in being submissive. In the beginning she talks about what an easy job it is and how much she enjoys getting paid for something she enjoys. Then a male and female client enter and the inconsistencies and irrationalities begin.

The lead character keeps changing her mind about what she likes and wants. When the male client pulls out a paddle, at first she wants to be paddled, then she doesn't want to be paddled, then she's relieved that the male is paddling the female he brought with him, then she's jealous that the male is paddling the other woman and wants him to paddle her. All in the space of a few short moments.

She suffers similar vacillations of thought and mood when it comes to being tied up. At first she likes being tied up, then she doesn't like being tied up. At first she's excited by the idea of how the twine will leave marks on her skin. Then she's pissed that the twine will leave marks on her skin.

And in the end, she, very uncharacteristically, for someone who claims to love being submissive, breaks free and tells off both the male client and the madame of the establishment.

Which brings us to the male client. He brings another woman to a brothel, which I can accept, but then he after having the woman interact briefly with the submissive, he ties the submissive up and ignores her for the rest of the scene. Maybe this is some BDSM thing that I don't understand, but it seems to me that if you are going to pay for the services of a submissive, especially one that has been specifically chosen to suit your “special” needs, then you are actually going to do something with that submissive other than tie her up and ignore her.

Both the male and female client show absolutely no evidence of being anything more than automatons designed to fulfill a function in the (illogical) story. Which sort of almost works because it turns out the woman actually is an automaton. A steam powered automaton. Oh look! We have some sort of contraption run by steam. Viola! It now qualifies as steampunk.

NOT.

There was a cutesy little gimmick at the end where it is revealed that the male client is supposedly Professor Henry Higgins from “My Fair Lady”. But even though I usually like these sorts of literary allusions, this one just annoyed me. The male character had shown absolutely none of the personality of the original Henry Higgins from either the book, the play or the movie. The author is apparently about as familiar with “My Fair Lady” as she is with steampunk.

Professor Higgins does not have an aversion to women with low class accents, he enjoys studying their accents just as much as he enjoys studying the accents of the upper class women he encounters. It is a MAJOR point in the story that he doesn't care what social class anyone, male or female, is from. He just doesn't care much about women (or anyone really) except as another data point in his linguistics research.

So when the male client is “discovered” to be Professor Higgins, instead of a fun little “Aha!” moment, it was more of a “Really? You expect me to think that's clever? You got it totally fucking WRONG!” moment.

I hate that this pathetic little story was my introduction to erotic fiction.